Choosing a Husband

Question: What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allaah’s punishment upon her?

Answer: The most important attributes which a woman should seek in one proposing marriage are good character and Deen (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the one proposing the marriage should be good in the Deen and in his character – since regarding one possessing Deen and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the one possessing Deen and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Deen from him.
But if the person is one who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him – especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or one who is known to drink intoxicants – and Allaah’s refuge is sought… So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Deen. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: If there comes to you one whose Deen and character is pleasing then give [the woman] in marriage to him

However if one who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.
Shaikh Ibn Uthaimeen in Fataawal-Mar’ah Vol. 1. p.50

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  1. #1 by Umm Sulaym on March 10, 2011 - 4:28 pm

    What a stressful decision-making process! SubhanAllah, only Allah SWT knows…
    Sisters shouldn’t make decisions on the basis of ‘oh he’ll change after marriage…’ because it’s easier said than done. Likewise, they mustn’t be too picky lest they never find an ideal person…
    Wallahi, it’s a major test of one’s everything…one’s patience,nerves, tawakul, determination, emotions and one’s love for Allah SWT.

    Pls remember all sisters in your duaa.
    Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullah,
    -UmmS.

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