Mind the Gap – Improving Family Relations – Abdulrahman Murphy

 

4 Tips:

1. Don’t talk back.

2. Give a positive presence in the home. (Have a merciful body style, i.e. not tense, worried, or harsh)

3. Approach them with kind words that are loving. (If you do this the relationship will bloom).

4. Huge test: Make this dua for them. (English translation) “O Allah, have Mercy upon them, for they nurtured me when I was small.” You’re admitting the fact that when you were young, even though you don’t remember it, they were merciful to you.

“O Messenger of Allah! Indeed, I love you…”

‘A’ishah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! Indeed, I love you more than I love myself, and I love you more than I love my family, and I love you more than I love my children. When I am at home and I think of you, I am unable to contain myself until I can come to you and look at you. When I think about my death and your death, I know that when you enter Paradise, you will be raised to where the Prophets are. But, if I enter Paradise, I am afraid: will I be able to see you?”

So, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) did not answer him at all until Jibril revealed to him: {“And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger, then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace – of the Prophets, the truthful, the martyrs and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!”} [an-Nisa’; 69]

[‘Silsilat al-Ahadith as-Sahihah’; #2933]

Mistakes in Recitation – Shaykh Ayman Swayd

MSA Recruiters: Everyone is Fair Game

This past week I came across a new hijabi face, which is unusual nowadays. Being on the same campus for years, and being that it is the end of a semester, I was quite surprised and delighted to see this sister whom I had never seen before. She was clearly an older adult, but it is not uncommon to see sisters with husbands and kids attending college. Smiling at her, I approached her to give my salam and to make some small talk. My shoes were slippery with sand and dust so I almost slipped, but I caught myself and began talking to her while laughing behind my niqab at how I almost fell.

I talked to her for just a couple of minutes, or maybe even less. Then I began to tell her about the MSA on campus. I first mentioned the clubroom to her and told her that she can pray there. She listened and politely responded at the appropriate openings. I was about to continue on but she interrupted me and said, with her arm on mine and with a smile on her face “By the way, I’m a professor here.”

Oh snap.

That was my initial reaction. But as I keyed into her body language (the fact that she had already began to turn and walk towards the elevator) and her facial expression, I realized that this is the reaction she was expecting. I was supposed to stop after she said that, perhaps even offer an apology of sorts. But you know, I’ve never been one to take hints. (lol) So upon realizing this fact, I continued on and let her know that that doesn’t matter and that she can still come to events. At this, she stated that her students keep her up to date with all of this, and this made me happy because it meant that there were Muslim students out there doing their jobs. I showed her my approval at this, and gave her my hearty salam.

Point of Benefit: If your job is to give da’wah to the Muslims, everyone is fair game. (Just keep in mind the restrictions and dangers in a sister giving da’wah to a male, or a brother giving da’wah to a female.) You’ll find some MSA workers who become like scientists as they closely inspect the prospective person from afar, peering at them closely, as if looking for a neon sign in their hand that reads: “Yes, I am Muslim and I’m looking for the MSA room. Please help me.” Some sisters who work with MSA’s may think that they should only approach hijabis, or that they should not approach a Muslim who is standing with a nonMuslim friend. Or some may think that if the Muslim is a professor, that it is actually considered rude to tell him/her about Islamic events and activities on campus.

If you find yourself ever thinking thoughts like these, honestly ask yourself: Are these whispers from Shaytan? Then seek refuge with Allah swt and continue on with the message, because regardless of who it is, you never know when you will be the catalyst for change in that person’s life, bi’ithnillah.

Music: Seeking to Make it Lawful by Abu Abdissalam

Regarding music, below are some random thoughts and points:

1) Music is clearly haram by the Qur’an, Sunnah and consensus of the early Muslim scholars:

a) Qur’an

“Do you marvel at this statement, and laugh and do not weep, while you saamidoon? Rather, prostrate before Allah and worship Him [alone].” Al-Najm (59-62)

Ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the word ‘saamidoon’ in this verse is talking about the mushrikin who would sing and play music loudly whenever they heard the recitation of the Qur’an so they could drown out the sound so others would not hear verses of the Qur’an.

“And there are among men those who purchase idle talk in order to mislead others from Allah’s path without knowledge, and who throw ridicule upon it. For such there will be a humiliating punishment.” Luqman (6)

Ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the phrase “Lahw al-hadith” as “Huwa al-ginaa wa ashbahuhu” (it is music and the like). Hasan Basri rahimahullah, who died in 110AH, said that this ayah was revealed about music and the flute. In fact, the great scholar Mak-hul said, “Because of this ayah, I will not read the Salah al-Janazah over the one who buys a singing girl to sing and amuse him and continues this till he dies.”

b) Sunnah

The Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:
“There will come a people from my Ummah who will seek to make lawful zina (fornication and adultery), the wearing of silk (for men), the drinking of win and the use of musical instruments. Some people will stay at the side of the mountain and when their shepherd comes in the evening to ask them for his needs, they will say : ‘Come back to us tomorrow’. Then Allah will destroy them during the night by causing the mountain to fall upon them while He changes others into apes and swine. They will remain in this state until the Day of Resurrection.” [Bukhari]

Note that nowadays we do hear many Muslims seeking to make lawful music, as mentioned in this hadith.
The Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam also said:
“A people of my Ummah will drink wine, calling it by other than its real name. Merry will be made for them through the playing of musical instruments and by the singing of female singers. Allah will cleave the earth under them and turn them into apes and swines.” [Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud]

It is also reported that the Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

“Music grows hypocrisy in the heart just as water causes the crops to grow.” [Bayhaqi]

C) Statements of the Early Muslim scholars

When ‘Umar Ibn ‘Abdil ‘Aziz, may Allah be pleased with him, sent his son to his teacher, Suhayl, he wrote:
“The first lesson to be taught to him is hatred of musical instruments, which begins from shaytan and ends with the wrath of Allah. I have heard from reliable scholars that to be present in gatherings of music and to listen to it causes hypocrisy to grow in the heart like water causes grass to grow. By my soul, it is easier for an intelligent person to save himself from the evil of such places than to allow hypocrisy nourishing in the heart.”

Al-Hasan said: if there is music involved in a walimah (dinner invitation) then do not accept it.

Ibrahim Nakha’i, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “We used to go searching from road to road to take away and tear the musical instruments away from the children.”

Abdullah, the son of Imam Ahmad, said: “I asked my father about singing and he replied: ‘Singing makes hypocrisy grow in the heart; I hate it’. Then he quoted the words of Malik: ‘the fasiqs among us do that.””

Al-Sarakhshi, the Hanafi jurist, said : “The testimony of a singer, who gathers people and is accompanied by people for the purpose of such entertainment, will not be accepted.”

Ibn al-Qayyim said: “Listening to the music of a strange women and a beardless youth is one of the greatest prohibited acts. Imam Shafi said regarding the owner of a female slave that if he gathers the people to listen to her then he is a foolish person whose testimony will not be accepted and above this he is regarded as a ‘Dayyoos’ (cuckold, i.e. one who is married to an unfaithful wife!).”

He also said: “How strange! What type of faith, light, insight, guidance and knowledge can be gained from listening to tuneful verses and music in which most of what is said is haram and deserves the wrath and punishment of Allah and His Messenger? … How can anyone who has the least amount of insight and faith in his heart draw near to Allah and increase his faith by enjoying something which is hated by Him, and He detests the one who says it and the one who accepts it?”

Al-Qurtubi said: “The addiction of the sufis to the listening of music with melodious instruments, like the reed flutes, tambourines, strings (of the musical instrument) and the piano, which has been innovated by them is Haram.” (p. 54/4 Tafsir Qurtubi).

Ibn Taymiyah said: “Whoever plays these instruments as a form of worship is undoubtedly misguided and ignorant. However, if he does it as a form of entertainment, then the view of the four imams is that all musical instruments are haram. It is proven in Sahih al-Bukhari and elsewhere that the Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said that there would be among his ummah those who regarded zina, silk, alcohol and musical instruments as lawful, and he said that they would be transformed into monkeys and pigs.”

Al-Albani said that: “the four imams are united that all musical instruments are haram”

2) If people claim there is a difference of opinion regarding this issue, then it is clear that the difference was not from the early Muslim scholars, but it was rather from those from this ummah, as the Prophet sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “who would seek to make lawful”, among other things, musical instruments.

3) The exception to this general prohibition of music is the playing of the duff (drum). The scholars have differed here whether it is allowed for everyone all the time, just for women all the time, or just for women at happy occasions like Eid and weddings, etc.

4) Regarding those who play music loudly and broadcast it to others, they are acquiring extra sin: firstly for listening to it, and secondly for making / encouraging others to listen to it.

5) Regarding eating in a restaurant that has music or hearing music without choice, see this full article by Shaykh Munajjid:

Question :

I have previously stopped listening to music, by me not putting it on, but I hear it at school and other places, where I try not to enjoy it but sometimes I do?
Would that count as listening, and would I be accounted for it or not?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

There is a difference between the one who listens to music and the one who hears it. The one who listens to songs hears them deliberately, wants to hear them and enjoys that, whereas the one who only hears the sound that reaches him, without wanting or intending to do so, such as when riding in an airplane or a bus in which there is music, or who goes to the marketplace and hears that from some stores without wanting or intending to listen to it. There is a difference between the latter and the one who sits down to listen to and enjoy this haraam thing.

Hence Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah) said: The command and the prohibition have to do with listening. Merely hearing something is like seeing; it has to do with the intention behind seeing, not what happens without a person choosing it…. The same applies to committing sin through the five senses of hearing, sight, smell, taste and touch; the commands and prohibitions are connected to what a person intends and does, but whatever happens without him choosing it, there is no command or prohibition with regard to that.

(Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, part 5, p. 566)

One has to denounce that evil as much as possible, but if he cannot do that, then he should denounce it in his heart. One of the things implied by denouncing it in one’s heart is not remaining in a gathering or a place where that evil is happening, if one is able to leave.

With regard to listening to it, one must strive against that as much as possible and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan, and remember Allaah. Then Allaah will take that away from you. If that makes your heart attracted to it, then you should keep away from those parts of the school. If it will not cause you a lot of trouble to miss some of those classes in which these things happen then you should not attend them. You have to remember that Allaah is always watching and fear Him, for whoever fears Allaah, Allaah will give him a way out. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty)”

[al-Talaaq 65:2]

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

I laugh at the person…

Salmaan al-Faarisee RA:

“I laugh at the person who hopes for this world and at the same time death is seeking him, the person who neglects the death but the death does not neglect him, and the person who laughs with his mouth full of laughter without knowing if his Lord is angry or satisfied with him.”

[az-Zuhd, p. 225, by Imaam Ahmad bin Hanbal]

 

From Urwatul Wuthqa

For Atheists

Words of Advice to Arabic Students – Nouman Ali Khan

It’s Not All Trials and Difficulties

I realized that a lot of my posts in the niqabi support group have to do with the difficulties that come with wearing niqab, like the stares and eating in public, etc. I guess this is because I know these difficulties are the main reason that someone would want “support,” and after all it is a support group.

But I would be doing an injustice if I didn’t mention the amazing blessing that is the niqab. I feel so strongly about this that to this day, I think about it when I say “sami3Allahu li man Hamida…Rabbana lakal Hamd” in my salah.

The niqab is not trial after trial, sisters. I’m almost hesitating to go into all of the good that comes with it because I know that some will be skeptical, but… others will know exactly what I mean, even sisters who do not wear the niqab yet.

It is a sign, a symbol, something that you carry around with you always, and for everyone to see — a sign that you are nothing but a slave of Allah, an honored slave of Allah.

It is a reminder that you cannot avoid, so that even when your imaan gets low, you know that it can go back to the level it was at when you started covering.

It’s something that closes the door to mixing between genders, because our faces are the most inviting parts of our bodies, and once that is covered, men no longer have to take “hints,” it’s spelled out for them “N-o-t  i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-e-d.”

Every where you go, you will be reminded that you are a stranger in this world. You are a traveler that has no time to settle down, you must keep moving, otherwise you may not make it to your destination. When you are ostracized, you will feel a closeness to Allah and tranquility in His company. When you are faced with hardships, and you cry to Allah, you will have the sweetest of tears, because they are accompanied by reliance in Him.

You will see who your true friends are, and everyone’s true colors will begin to show around you. Those who truly love you for Allah’s sake, will continue to be by your side, and your friendship with them will blossom.

You will be a reminder for yourself and those around you, a reminder of Allah and His messenger. I often notice sisters tugging at their clothing, in order to cover more, when I am in front of them. I hope that it will be a stepping stone for them, towards one day doing that for Allah alone.

The niqab will be a test of your sincerity, because a time will come when you will take it for granted, and you may forget the struggles you faced to wear it. So when that time comes, remind yourself of what you went through, how Merciful Allah was towards you, and that it is because of Him that you are able to worship Him in this way. Thus, the typical routine of dressing up to leave the house becomes dhikr of Allah.

 

There is more but I will stop here for now, and add more in future parts, insha Allah. But I hope you see the point?

There is a sweetness that erupts from sincere worship of Allah swt, that you will not find anywhere else. This feeling is what the population of the entire world spends their lives searching for. The suicides and the drug overdoses — they are but the end results of those whose search bore no fruit.

Aquarium Adventures

I went out with a group of friends yesterday. We went to an aquarium and marveled over the creation of Allah swt. How intricate and delicate and colorful and beautiful, subhanAllah! I had one of the best imaan-boosting experiences ever just bending down close to the tanks and studying each fish closely, looking at their gills and their skin and the way they moved.

While I was there, however, I felt eyes on me a few times, and no, it wasn’t the fish. (lol) It was the other visitors of the aquarium. Some had come in groups, some with their children. They must have found it quite a sight to see a niqabi. “Forget the fish — look! It’s a ninja!” I always laugh a little to myself, and think “wow, I’m really not that interesting.”

I became aware of their eyes on me a few times, and then I would immediately be distracted by the beautiful sights in front of me and the company of sisters around me. My policy is to let these things slide off my shoulders and to never let it dwell in my mind. While there, I did not give it much thought, but afterwards, I reflected on it a bit.

I came to a realization within myself… No one has the right to make me feel as if I am an outsider. This earth belongs to my Lord, not to you. And I am welcome on this earth, just as you are. And He provides for me, and He provides for you, so don’t think for a second that you will make me feel ashamed of doing something to get closer to Him. Your gaze on me is temporary, while His gaze on me is permanent. I will choose Allah over you, any day.

This is a reminder for myself and for all of the sisters out there: Don’t ever let a disobedient slave make you feel ashamed of your obedience to the Master.