wasalat wasalam alaa rasoolillah
I have lost count of how many times I have sat with a sister only to hear her give a confession within moments of the conversation. I won’t list examples, but what do you even do at that point? I become uncomfortable. I can sympathize with what she is feeling, but she’s just put everyone else in an awkward position. (There is incredible wisdom to the Islamic prescription of hiding your sins). Anyway, I came to call this the Confession Complex.
We’ve all seen or heard of the scenes of people in a church confessing to a priest or minister about their sins. Through this confession is their forgiveness. We know it makes no sense, logically speaking. There is a flawed human sitting on both sides of the wall. Something’s wrong here.
We know that, but I guess the reason these religions were able to get away with it is because they banked on this complex within the human psyche. The desperate need to relieve oneself of a wrongdoing. The need to hear from someone else, It’s okay and you’re okay.
But just as an aside to this [I know it sounds like a rant, but it’s not, I promise it’s about to make sense] Islam recognizes this innate need in a human being but tells him or her to direct it towards Allah swt, the source of forgiveness. This provides you with the cathartic relief of a confessional, without the shame and confusion that comes with telling another person your sins and shortcomings.
Okay, so another place where I have seen people going into confession-mode is when they are running a blog and they disappear for a few weeks or months. You see, they feel guilty about it, like they’ve done a disservice to those who benefit from that blog. So first, they subconsciously avoid returning. They convince themselves that they don’t have even ten minutes a day to write a post that could benefit others. Then they realize how much they love to write, and how much they miss blogging, and how they really don’t even have any other hobbies (kinda sad, I know, I’m working on it). So they decide they want to come back.
But wait, they say.
I can’t just pop back onto the screen. What will people think?
I shall give a long explanation, one that would involve me losing my breath if I were to say it in person. A long explanation about why I’ve been gone, followed by a heartfelt promise to never leave again.
I was out for a while. I’m back now, alhamdulillah. I am looking forward to writing and sharing again inshaAllah.
It scares me that I even feel like I am speaking to people right now because this blog was originally just for me (actually it wasn’t, but then I realized no one knew about it and it became just for me :D) but now that I see that people have pressed the “subscribe” button… I feel like I owe you guys an apology.
But I hope it suffices to say that I am coming back and hoping to return to writing posts inshaAllah. It was very helpful for me to write, I regret stopping/taking a break. I’ve taken a break from blogging before, but this time felt a bit different, maybe because I actually also slowed down my journaling. So, now I’m back to doing both alhamdulillah. While I’m on it, I encourage everyone to start their own blog and their own journals. (I’ll rant more about that later, inshaAllah!)
May Allah swt allow me to write that which is truthful and benefits you and me. Ameen