Oversocializing: Having Too Many Acquaintances

AbdurRahman.org | July 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM | Categories: Character, Seerah | URL: http://wp.me/p1VJ3-kf

Keep Only a Few Friends

Source: ‘Biography of Imam Sufyaan ath-Thawri ‘. this book is sold by dar-us-salaam and the author is “Salaahud-Deen ibn Ali ibn Abdul-Maujood”

Sufyaan Ath-Thawri: A True Mountain of Knowledge & the Leader of Believers in Hadeeth

Sufyaan ath-Thawri (may Allah have mercy on him) said that one foolishly compromised one’s religion when one kept too many friends. Having too many acquaintances diverts one from one’s duty towards one’s Lord, for a person who has many friends is always busy socializing with them and fulfilling their rights over him; so he becomes preoccupied with people when he really should be preoccupied with his religious duties. The ill-effects of being too gregarious can last well beyond a social gathering. Sufyaan said, “I might meet a brother and as a result, remain heedless (of what I should be doing) for an entire month.”

A friend, Sufyaan insisted, should be someone who helps one to improve as a Muslim; otherwise he is not worth keeping as a friend. Sufyaan expressed this sentiment when he sad, “If someone is not with you, then he is against you.”

And Yousuf ibn Asbaat reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri say, “Whenever I spoke contrary to the desires of any man, he, regardless of who he was, would inevitably become furious with me. The people of knowledge and piety have departed.”

Sufyaan once advised someone to test the character of the person he wanted to befriend. Sufyaan said, “Choose whoever you want as your companion. But when you have made your choice, make him angry, and then order someone to go and ask him what he thinks about you-without him knowing that you sent that person.”

Bakr ibn Muhammad Al-‘Aabid related that Sufyaan ath-Thawri once said to him, “Direct me to a man with whom I can keep company.” Sufyaan said, “You are searching for something that cannot be found.”

Khalf ibn Ismaa’eel Al-Barzaanee reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri said, “Acquaint yourself with fewer people, and as a result, you will backbite less (frequently).”