“Just wave your finger”

Bismillah walhamdulillah

(Note: I’m using an alias for obvious reasons, so no, I have not revealed my real name here.)

How professors deal with niqab… lol where do I start

The most interesting response to the niqab that I’ve gotten from a professor, occurred yesterday. So I wanted to rush to get it down on paper (cyber-paper).
I recently started a Counseling degree program. I think it is safe to assume that I’m the first niqabi to ever be accepted into, much less to accept the offer of joining, this program.

I walked into my first class, just about a minute early. This is quite an achievement for me, so I was a bit disappointed to see that he had already skipped my name on the attendance.

“Ms. Rafique…?” said the professor in a super-polite way, (but I had already been warned that he was an extremely polite guy).

“Yes.” I took my seat in the front, true to my nerd-like self.

He finished up the attendance and began his lesson. He had joke after joke, until I began to think that he prepared jokes for his first lesson in order to make it less awkward. Appreciating a good joke when I hear it, I chuckled lightly under my niqab, as well.

At one point, he stood directly in front of me, and looking straight at me for about 2 seconds, he says, “If any of you are having trouble understanding anything I am saying, but feel too shy to stop me and say so, just wave your finger.” And he demonstrated by waving his own finger.

He’s talking to me, I know it… lol what should I do… It’s okay, he’ll figure it out eventually…

I continued to pay attention to his jokes — I mean, lesson. Since the class was a bit longer than a usual class, he gave us a ten minute break.

I pulled out my phone and checked my messages. Meanwhile, a classmate of mine asked about internet at the college, and being familiar with this college, I answered her.

The professor was not in the room when this exchange took place, so keep that in mind while you read the rest.

He walked back into the room and towards my desk. My head was down, looking at my phone.

“Ms. Rafique…?” lol this guy is so polite, it’s killing me

“Yes?”

“May I please speak to you outside?”

“Sure.”

I didn’t give any thought to why he asked me to step outside with him. I grabbed my phone, only worried that I might be robbed in my absence lol, and followed him outside.

He took a few steps away from the door and then turned back towards me and asked in a low voice, “Is English your native language?”

Keeping in mind that this situation was supposed to be an awkward one, and that he was a male professor, although quite elderly, I decided it was not wise to laugh. But I could not help smiling at his statement.

No way, he did not just say that…

“Yes.”

“Okay — If you ever need to pray, you can just leave and do that, you don’t have to ask.”

“Oh okay, thanks!” I said, surprised at the courtesy. Later on I realized, he probably had to mentally prepare himself for asking me that question, and it probably went like this in his mind: “Okay, I’ll just ask her, and then I’ll quickly slide in something about her having to pray, and it’ll all look super natural. Yes, phew, I’m ready.”

lol

We walked back inside and he began the second-half of his lesson.

I took my seat, a bit confused. I didn’t know how I should feel. Embarrassed? Offended?

All I could think about was how amusing it all was.

As he continued to talk, I began to get the feeling from him that he was in grave doubt. In grave doubt about whether or not I could actually speak English because so far my responses to all of his questions were so short, that I could’ve easily learned it in a week spent in the country.

I decided to put him out of his misery, and wow him with my English — the only language I’m extremely fluent in, mind you.

I raised my hand to answer one of his questions.

Looking super-excited, he said “Yes, ma’am?”

…Don’t laugh…

As I answered him, I became super aware of my accent — or rather lack thereof. I glanced at his face and noticed him squinting at me, as if trying hard to understand.

All right buddy, now you’re just playin

But he got to hear my English, and I got to sit back and relax the rest of the period.

He did seem like a genuinely nice and concerned fellow, may Allah swt guide him to the Haqq. Ameen.

And I had the chance to laugh about all of this that evening with my brother. He was cracking up even more than me, and giving me all of these funny suggestions for what I should’ve done to really confuse the poor guy lol.

Good times, alhamdu lillah :)

wasalamualaykum

Push Yourself and Others to Start Hijab — Deen Show with Br. Mohammad Abu Abbaad ElShinawy

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Please watch and share. I wish that I had access to spread the new of the command of hijab to all of the sisters in the world… it frees the soul from so much evil. May Allah swt grant honor to Islam and the Muslimeen.

“She took it off!”

Bismillah walhamdulillah

I tend to have long delays between when the idea of a post comes to mind (when something very meaningful happens) and actually writing it. This isn’t good because in that time, I may lose out on essential details, or enough time passes, I may never write it. So here goes.

I attended an all-sisters Ramadan event recently. It was very well organized and the atmosphere was amazing. Having just returned from travels abroad and being away from righteous company for so long, I felt so much happiness being in that room full of sisters who were striving for the same goals. Being unable to hide my happiness, I began to talk quickly and excitedly as I sometimes do. Every now and then, it would occur to me to take it down a notch, so I would try, but it wasn’t too successful.

Even as the speakers spoke, I would become distracted as a sister in niqab crossed the room, throwing her niqab down to cover her face because of a transparent door on the end of the hall. The chances of a man passing by and looking in were miniscule, but she had such hayaa’ that she didn’t care. And there were more just like her. The speaker, for example, was a sister in niqaab. She sat facing that transparent door which was, again, far down on the other side of the hall. It was far enough that even if a man were to stop and look in for some reason (and he would be looking in from the sidewalk), he would not be able to make out any features. But again, this sister had such hayaa’ that she gave her entire speech with her niqab on, only removing it she finished and came down from the stage to sit with the audience, with her back to the door. The environment was a fresh and much-needed dose of imaan.

As I was getting ready to leave, I stood at the back of the room, near the bathroom. I wanted to wash my hands so that I could shake hands with sisters before leaving. I don’t have OCD, but I had been ill and was afraid I was still contagious.

As I stood there, waiting for the bathroom, two sisters walked in together. They had missed both speeches but the event was still going on.

I saw them standing there, almost hesitantly, as if afraid of disturbing the event by looking for a place to sit. I pointed out empty seats to them, and in an encouraging tone, I told them they should sit.

From the corner of my eye, I saw one of the two sisters look at me, look away, and then look back at me. I did not look at her, but I could almost tell that she was deciding on whether or not to say salaam or to run and hope I didn’t notice her. She then smiled and gave me her salaam. I leaned forward to hug her and finally recognizing her face, I returned her salaam with a big smile.

Then as I pulled away from the hug, I was confused. I think I know who this sister is, but I’m not too sure because she is a niqabi so I’ve rarely seen her face. But what is making it even more confusing is that she is not wearing the niqab right now.

With a puzzled look on my face, I looked at the other sister, as if to ask “Wait, who did I just hug?”

She responded back in a whisper, because the event was still going on.

…Yep, it was her.

Okay, she’s not wearing her niqab. Immediately I began to make excuses for her. Perhaps she knew it was all-sisters event and she removed it at the door. Although this was unlikely because I had known her to always wear her niqab inside her hijab. No, maybe she changed her niqab style and now she wears the kind that are on the outside and easily removable.

Okay, you know what. It’s okay, don’t worry about it.

That lasted for about a minute, and it quickly went away.

My phone rang, it was my sister. “Come out, I’m here.”

I rushed back to my seat, grabbed my things and left.

Days went by and I did not give it any thought.

The end.

Just kidding :) So…what was the point of mentioning all of that?

Okay, so a sister removed her niqab. Maybe many of us have seen it (with niqab or with jilbab or hijab).

What’s the wrong reaction?

“Omg sister, astaghfirullah, how could you?!”

Even if no one really says it out loud, many people react this way in their minds. They should know that their thoughts will eventually manifest in their actions, whether they realize it or not. It could be something as simple as a fading smile, avoiding eye contact, awkward behavior, etc. And this sister will more likely than not, pick up on all of it.

What is the right reaction?

Well, it’s hard to give one answer for this. So I’ll put it this way:

1. That is still your sister in Islam, you still love her for the sake of Allah. Be careful how you treat her.
2. You don’t know what she is going through right now. Maybe she just needs a comforting friend, or someone who will be there for her at a time of difficulty. Maybe she needs you to assume good of her, and not jump to conclusions and assume the worst. You looking down at her is not going to improve the situation in the slightest.
3. If you are truly concerned for her, make dua for her and talk to her about it (if you are close to her). Don’t talk to anyone else about it and don’t sit alone ruminating on it. Make a sincere dua for her when you are making dua for yourself. And if you can’t even talk to her about it directly, just make sure she knows that you are there for her if she needs you, that you assume the best of her, and that you are not judging her.
4. The same way she removed her niqab, she can put it back on. It’s not a one way street. It is a struggle that lasts until you leave this world, just like every other act of worship. Treating people badly when they remove it will not make them want to put it back on. And it will lead to others being afraid to start hijab, jilbab, or niqab, at all, for the simple fear that they may take it off one day, and be shunned as well.
5. What does her removing her niqab have to do with you? A lot of times, the reason for the harsh reactions is simply because we are afraid of being affected when a sister removes any part of her hijab. Your hijab, jilbab, niqab, should not be dependent on what the people around you are wearing or doing. Guaranteed, you will be in some places where everyone is dressed like you and you fit right in, and guaranteed, you will be in other places where everyone is wondering what on earth you were thinking when you got dressed this morning. Accept it. Your hijab should remain consistent regardless, and if it doesn’t, you truly must ask yourself: who am I doing all of this for? For if you truly wore it for Allah, you would know that He is always Watching, always present, regardless of who is around you.

Now for the disclaimer: I am not supporting that anyone remove their niqab, or remove anything for that matter, but I am enforcing that we be merciful and gentle towards the believers. This on our part will be following the sunnah of the Messenger, sallallahu alayhi wasalam. And I am enforcing that we all be sincere towards Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, because those who are sincere will be bound to the sunnah.

waAllahu Ta’ala Alam

Who speaks for Islam? by Abu Abdissalam

An amazing talk by a brother who says it like it is. A MUST WATCH and MUST SHARE!

Paid in Full?

Bismillah walhamdulillah

People think that religious people are always missing out on life. When I went to the UK this summer to attend a family wedding, I’m sure my extended family was thinking this about me. One lady even said to me, “You don’t like getting ready, you don’t even put any [makeup] on.” Right…I cover my face, but you want me to put layers of makeup on the only part that shows…good idea. Hey, when I’m done, can I borrow some earrings? I wanna hang them from my hijab. So I answered her, “No, I can’t get ready because it’s not properly separated.”

I would pray Salatul istikhara before every part of the wedding, to seek Divine Counsel on whether or not I should even attend. At times, some of the women would say things like “You’re not going, are you?” They probably meant well, knowing that I would hate the environment of the music and mixing, but it wasn’t their decision to make. The decision wasn’t always a simple one. And I knew that there were times when it was better that I come along, just so that I could pull my family away, and so that I could remind them when they forgot. So I would pray istikhara and then I would attend with these intentions in mind. I would put on my abaya, and my hijab and niqab. And I would pray and hope that the stereo system would break.

I attended 5 days like this, entirely covered, sitting away from the men, and often darting outside hoping to get as far away from the music as I could. Others may have looked at me, seen my discomfort with the surroundings, and felt pity for me. But I always felt more pity for them, because they didn’t feel discomfort. And I fully expected a reward from Allah swt for all of my efforts. And I fully trusted the fact that if you leave something for the sake of Allah, He will grant you something better than it.

But I didn’t expect to be paid back so soon.

Within the very same summer, and only weeks apart from these 5 days of struggle, I was invited to:

1 bridal shower

1 henna

1 walima

1 wedding

1 wedding

Total: 5 days

Five days…just like those 5 days. Except these were entirely separated and without music, and would be attended people I knew and loved.

“… And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.“

Surah At Talaq, ayaat 2-3

Allah swt is Al Kareem, The Generous. And He swt rewards His believing slaves in this world and in the Hereafter (I still anticipate a better reward in al Aakhira, inshaaAllah!). And He swt shows them miracle after miracle to increase them in imaan. And yet the slave still hesitates to put forth those good deeds. You still hesitate to be different, and to be singled out, and to be seen as a stranger. You dread being left out and missing out on anything. Have you ever stopped and thought about the terrible agony that you would be in when you are standing on Yawm al Qiyaamah, and believers are pouring into Jannah in front of your very eyes, but you are held back from entering because of your sins? Wallahi, that should be enough to make you weep.

Mark my words…No one on this entire planet (or under it or above it) will ever appreciate what you do the way that Allah swt appreciates it; He is Ash-Shaakir (The All-Appreciative), Ash-Shakur (The Most Ready to Appreciate). So stop chasing people that you cannot please. Instead, chase Allah subhanahu wa ta’aala.

As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths (i.e. Allah’s Religion – Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allah is with the Muhsinun (good doers).”

Surah Al ‘Ankaboot, ayah 69

And Allah Knows Best.

Khaula’s Story With the Hijab

Khaula’s Story with the Hijab – Inspirational Read !!

AbdurRahman.org | May 28, 2011 at 7:57 PM | Categories: Inspirational, Seerah, Stories, women | URL: http://wp.me/p1VJ3-CA

A View through Hijab – By Sister Khaula From Japan 10/25/1993 [57]

My Story To Islam :

As most of the Japanese, I’d followed no religion before I embraced Islam in France. I was majoring in French Literature at the university. My favorite thinkers were Sartre, Nietchze and Camas, whose thinking is atheistic. At the same time, however, I was very interested in religion, not because of my inner necessity but of my love for the truth. What was waiting for me after death did not interest me at all; how to live was my concern(58). For a long time I had a sort of impression that I was not doing what I should do and I was wasting my time. Whether God existed or not was the same to me; I just wanted to know the truth and choose my way of life-to live with God or without God.

I started to read books on different religions except Islam. I had never thought that Islam was a religion worth studying. It was for me, at that time, a sort of primitive idolatry of the simple mind (how ignorant I was!). I made friends with Christians, with whom I studied the Bible, to come to realize a few years later the existence of God. But then I had to face a dilemma because I could not “feel” God at all, in spite of my conviction that he should exist. I tried to pray in church, but in vain. I felt nothing but the absence of God.

I then studied Buddhism, hoping I would be able to feel God through Zen or Yoga. I found as many things in Buddhism that seemed to be true as I had in Christianity, yet there were many things I could not understand or accept. In my opinion, If God exists, He should be for everyone(59) and the truth should simple and clear to everyone. I could not understand why people should abandon ordinary life to devote themselves to God.

I was really at a loss for what to do to reach the end of my desperate quest for God. It was then that I met an Algerian Muslim. Born and raised in France, he didn’t even know how to pray and his life was quite far from the ideal of a Muslim; nevertheless, he had very strong faith in God. However, his belief without knowledge irritated me and made me decide to study Islam. To start with, I bought a French translation of the Qur’an, but I could not read more than two pages. It seemed so strange and boring. I gave up my effort to understand it alone and went to the mosque in Paris to ask someone to help me. It was a Sunday and there was a lecture for women. The sisters welcomed me warmly. It was my first encounter with practicing Muslim women. To my surprise, I felt myself very much at ease with them, although I’d always felt myself a stranger in the company of Christians. I started to attend the lecture every weekend and to read a book given to me by one of the Muslim women. Every minute of the lecture and every page of the book were, for me, a revelation, giving me great spiritual satisfaction I’ve never known before. I had an excited feeling that I was being initiated into the truth. What was wonderful, Subhaanallah (Praise be to Allaah), was my feeling the presence of God very close to me while in the posture of Sajdah (prostration).
__________
(57) Sister Khaula visited the Women’s Office of The Islamic Guidance Center in Buraidah, Al-Qassim, Saudi Arabia on 10/25/1993. She shared this information with other Muslim Sisters in the Office. 1 found it important to share with our Muslim brothers and sisters the Story of Khaula’s coming to Islam followed by her experience and advice concerning the Hijab.
(58) This is the concern of so many people in the World and especially in the West or in countries dominated by Western culture. People become “workaholic” to keep up with more and more of what they want to have. The secondary things of today are the necessities of tomorrow! The Medium way described by the Creator, Allah, is ignored except by the few.(Dr.S. As-Saleh)
(59) Allah is the God of everyone. This thought translates that God must be one. There is no nationalistic belonging to God! Being the God of everyone, He does not command some people to worship Him alone while at the same time makes it permissible for others to set up rivals with Him in worship. This means that His worship must be one and that it is not up to us to define this type of worship. The way of worship belongs to the One and Only One True God, Allah. This constitutes His religion and He had named this way: Islam.

Khula’s Story with the Hijab :

“Two years ago when I embraced Islam in France, the polemic around the wearing of the hijab at school was very hot. The majority of people thought it was against the principle of the public school which should keep its neutrality towards the religion. I, who was not yet Muslim then, could hardly understand why they were worried over such a tiny thing as a small scarf put on the head of Muslim students…but, apparently, French people who had faced the serious problem of the increasing non-employment rate and the insecurity in big cities became nervous over the immigration of workers from Arab countries. They felt aggrieved by the sight of the hijab in their town and in their school… Continue to Read more of this post

To Veil or Not To Veil by Mohammad Elshinawy

(click on picture to listen to lecture insha Allah)